shut up, already

It's been a while since I've written anything new. Since I stopped writing the novel, I guess. I don't think that's ever going to be finished.

I think my problem is that I don't know what to write. Sometimes I think I need to be writing something important, much like how I often think that I need to be reading something important, and instead I'm reading Bridget Jones's Diary for the fiftieth time. When I read books like that, not necessarily that book, but books LIKE THAT, you know chicklit, I feel like I should be embarrassed. I suppose that's true, if the book is terrible. And I've read some terrible chicklit. I usually finish reading it just because I hate NOT finishing a book. The only book I've never finished was Huck Finn, and I still feel like I should go back and read it. I feel GUILTY when I don't finish a book, even if it's horrible. That's why I finished The Firm.

Sometimes I'm embarrassed about what I WANT to write about, which is just stupid. It's not like whatever I write has to turn into some gargantuan novel of epic proportions. Who cares? I should just write what I feel like writing.

So why do I find that so hard? Half the time, when I'm writing I'm thinking, "why am I writing this? it's stupid, it's pointless, it'll never add up to anything of importance, why don't you just stop?"

Sometimes I wish I could just turn off the voices in my head.